How To Keep Children And Dogs Safe Living Together

Chasing Games. Avoid any game where the dog chases the child, and equally where the child chases the dog. Both can love these games, which is exactly what makes them dangerous.

When a dog chases something, it taps into prey drive. The excitement of the pursuit can easily tip into a grab the moment the dog catches up. Flip the roles, and the risk changes but doesn’t disappear — a dog being chased may tolerate it fine until it becomes cornered or trapped. At that point, fight or flight becomes fight only. There are plenty of safer games that are just as fun for both.

When I was a child, this was a rule set in stone — for children and adults alike. In recent years it has become fashionable for trainers to encourage owners to touch their dog or interfere with their food bowl while the dog is eating. Some dogs tolerate it. Some don’t. I’m fairly certain all of them would prefer to be left alone.

But here is the critical point: what your dog tolerates from you is not necessarily what it will tolerate from a child.

This may seem to contradict the previous point, but hear me out. Feeding time is deeply important to a dog — and so is the person feeding them, it’s where the expression don’t bite the hand that feeds you comes from. That relationship matters.

With an adult supervising, involve the child in the process. Have the child ask the dog to sit, place the food bowl down, step back, then release the dog with an “OK.” The dog eats. Simple as that.

What’s happening beneath the surface is important: the dog is learning to listen to the child, and to see them as someone worth respecting. That dynamic can make the whole relationship safer over time.

For the same reasons outlined above, involving the child in training is a positive step for the relationship. The dog becomes accustomed to listening to the child, and the rewards used in training build a positive association between the dog and the child giving them.

Equally important — and sometimes overlooked — training sessions give you a natural opportunity to teach your child how to behave around the dog. It works both ways.

If You Drop Food Leave It. This one can feel unfair to children, but it’s important. Dogs naturally gravitate toward people who are eating — young children especially, because they make mess and the dog learns quickly that a snack is never far away.

Personally, I don’t allow my dogs off their bed during mealtimes. With young children that’s harder to enforce, particularly when they’re wandering around with food in their hands. But the rule for the child is simple: if you drop food, leave it.

We don’t want the dog and child racing each other to the floor. A dog may have no intention of hurting anyone, but they pick up food with teeth, not fingers — and around food, some dogs will use those teeth deliberately. It’s not worth the competition.

Some people use crates, some use beds, others — like me — use both. Children are unpredictable and so are dogs. Teaching a dog to stay on their bed is straightforward enough, but it isn’t foolproof. When you’re too busy to supervise directly, a crate is the safer option. Close the door, and you know the dog isn’t going anywhere.

The second half of this rule is equally important: teach the child to stay away from the dog’s bed and crate entirely. We want the dog to know that when it’s feeling unwell, overwhelmed, or simply tired of the chaos, it has somewhere to go. A place that is genuinely its own.

If the dog knows that retreat is always available, it never needs to use its teeth to create distance. The bed or crate does that job instead.

We touched on this with the no chasing games rule, but it goes further. Children are loud and highly mobile, and their high-pitched screams are genuinely triggering for dogs. The child may not be playing with the dog — but the dog may not realise that distinction.

When children are excited and the energy in the room is rising, don’t wait to see how the dog reacts. Put the dog in another room. It’s the simplest form of management, and it works every time.

Dogs communicate predominantly through body language. They express happiness, anxiety, and anger with their entire body — and most people are only reading a fraction of what’s being said.

Take the tail wag as an example. Most people assume a wagging tail means a happy dog. In reality, a slow wag with the tail held high is often a threat display. A low, fast wag — as if the dog is trying to sweep the floor — usually signals worry. These are just two signals from a much larger vocabulary that most humans never learn to read.

There are good resources online that will give you a solid grounding in canine body language, and I’d encourage every dog owner to seek them out. Your relationship with your dog will deepen considerably once you understand what they’re actually trying to tell you.

And when it comes to your children’s safety, it could make all the difference. Learning to recognise the subtle leave me alone signals means you can intervene long before the dog reaches the point of get away from me right now.

Much of what we’ve covered focuses on managing the child’s behaviour to prevent triggering a reaction. But there’s another scenario worth preparing for — a dog, whether your own or one encountered outside the home, that becomes overstimulated or aggressive.

The simplest thing you can teach a child — and it works for adults too — is this: if a dog becomes threatening or overly excited, be a tree. Arms tucked by your sides, or elbows in with hands raised to protect your face. Don’t make a noise. Don’t run. Stand completely still. Be boring.

Screaming and running has the opposite effect — as we’ve already seen, it amplifies excitement and can trigger chase instinct. But a still, silent, uninteresting target gives the dog nothing to react to. The energy drops, and a supervising adult can step in and take control.

It’s a simple thing to practise with a child, and it could matter enormously one day.

By now it should be clear that overexcitement is one of the bigger risk factors in a home with children and dogs. The crate serves two purposes here: the dog can retreat to it on its own terms, and you can also use it proactively. Putting the dog in the crate two or three times a day for thirty minutes gives them a chance to decompress and reset.

It sounds simple because it is. But the cumulative effect on a dog’s overall calmness throughout the day is significant.

Exercise is as beneficial for dogs as it is for people. Dogs need it and deserve it daily. An ideal session combines leash walking with some off-leash free running or play — a chance to burn energy and release the endorphins that reduce stress and aid calm.

Involve your child wherever you can. If you’re playing fetch, have the child give the sit command before throwing the ball. The dog earns the throw by listening to the child, and the child earns the dog’s attention by being the one who makes the fun happen. As with feeding time, you’re reinforcing the same dynamic — the dog learning to listen to and engage positively with the child. Except now they’re having fun together outdoors, which is exactly where you want that relationship to be.

No Hugging or Kissing Dogs. Faces close to faces is one of the most common bite scenarios there is — and one of the most preventable.

Just as we often misread a dog’s body language, dogs can misinterpret ours. Most dogs are deeply uncomfortable being hugged. Consider their anatomy — they have no way to hug back, and the physical restraint of an embrace can feel threatening rather than affectionate. They don’t kiss either, so that gesture carries no meaning for them.

There’s a subtler risk here too. Dogs interpret direct eye contact as a threat. When a peaceful dog wants to defuse tension, it looks away — which is exactly why dogs so often turn their head when you point a camera at them. They’re not being uncooperative. They think you’re being aggressive, and they’re trying to calm the situation down.

So when a child gazes into a dog’s eyes, grabs them, and plants a kiss on their face — as adorable as it looks — the dog may be processing something else entirely. And your child’s face is right next to their teeth.

Living with a loving family dog is wonderful, but children need to understand that their dog is not a template for all dogs. Just because their dog welcomes them doesn’t mean every dog will.

Teach them to ask you first, and then the dog’s owner, before approaching any unfamiliar dog — or even a familiar one. We never know what that dog has experienced moments before. It may have just been in a fight with another dog. It may have been startled by a car. It may be in pain. A dog that was perfectly friendly last week is still a dog with a bad day.

The rule is simple: ask before petting any dog, every time, without exception.

This is an often overlooked scenario. When other children come to play, the dynamic changes quickly. Kids wrestle, snatch, chase each other, and escalate in ways that are hard to predict. Your child may know exactly how to behave around the dog — but their friends almost certainly don’t.

My own rule is simple: when my son’s friends come round, the dog goes away. No exceptions.